Below are snippets from comment notifications that I've opted to receive when commenting on blogs associated with the Writing Studio (Writing IVc). Please review all of the following comments carefully, because feedback and suggestions that I've made in them also may apply to your own blogs.
Say, ..., you're forgetting word counts on your book reviews, aren't you? Please remember that book reviews should be longer than quickposts from typing speed trials. I suggest that you go back and beef up your book reviews for this semester (fall)....
Even when you make a post this short, you need to add a word count to it. You also should use the label "quickposts" for it.
You seem to have forgotten to number your book reviews (for example, Book Review 2-99: Mr. Bean). Please number them from the beginning of fall semester, and include word counts, too.
The black typeface on your dark background makes the section on the ... [festival] virtually unreadable. Please change the font color of that section, so folks who visit your blog can read it. You had better add an accurate and catchy title, and a word count to your mega-essay, too.
Your mega-essay is still missing a conclusion, and a word count. The conclusion is long, long overdue, and you need the word count for Proto-Portolio 2-02. Please wrap this essay up [right] away!
By now I hope you understand the difference between an outline and an essay. You have labelled this post as an essay, but it is only a rough outline, and your label for "essays" revealed no essay more recent than this outline.
You must post essays rather than (or in addition to) outlines on your blog. I'm still looking for essays.
While I appreciate your efforts to review the Japanese movie that you did, the Writing Studio (Writing IVc) assignment for last week was for everyone to review the same English movie, Toy Story. So I would like you to review Toy story, and post your review ASAP!
This essay deserves the label "essays", not "quickposts", and an accurate and descriptive title. This post looks like more of an essay than an outline, and "second" doesn't give visitors any idea what your essay is about.
Please revise the title, and extend each paragraph to at least three sentences in length (five sentences per paragraph would be even better). Then include a word count that you can include in your writing portfolio.
There is something about the essay titles that you've added to your Proto-Portfolio 2-02 (PPF) that blows the table out of proportion. The notes column bleeds outside of the display space.
I imagine that you may be copying and pasting titles from blog posts into the titles column of your PPF. However, since your blog template automatically puts triple colored bullet points into each blog post title, they show up again in your PPF.
So I'd like to ask you to try hand-encoding essay titles and links for PPF 2-02. Here's a recipe for you to try. Please copy and paste the following link (title, below) into a new blog post in HTML view, and replace the URL and title with the URL and for your essays.
I am impressed by this essay, especially by its focus on historical and contemporary resources, water in particular. Though your essay covers a range of other topics, it is resources critical to survival that interest me the most. You've done a fine job of pointing some out. If you would like to write more about water, or other critical resources, I will continue to read your posts with great interest.
You've composed an interesting essay about many aspects of Kumamoto. However, please don't forget to give it an accurate, catchy, and descriptive title.
"Mega-Essay" may work for the name of a writing assignment, but isn't a very attractive title for a blog post. You had better change it, and you must add a word count to put in your portfolio, too.
Sorry, ..., but which book you've reviewed is again unclear. You must provide book titles, shortened if necessary, in the titles of every blog post. Please see the Writing Studio Wiki for details.
By now you should know the differences between lists, outlines, paragraphs, and essays. Subtracting the lists that you've cobbled together from what you've called an essay, I get 85 words - and only two paragraphs of three or more sentences (one at the beginning and another at the end).
That is far shy of the five-plus paragraphs, and 300 to 500 words required for the first movie review that you need do this fall semester. So I'll ask you this last time: Please compose a movie review following the working outline and meeting the essay requirements posted on the Writing Studio Blog, before it's too late.
(comments on students' blogs, 2007.11.13-14)
If you opt to receive notification of follow-up comments, each time you comment on a blog post; you too will receive gmail messages including comments like these that other visitors have made, along with replies from the blog owner. The links in actual gmail notifications make returning to the site and responding to other comments much easier than browsing back to peers' blogs, posts, and comments by hand.
[913 words, with revisions 07.11.15]
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